There is a bountiful bevy of new faces inside the Wisconsin Badgers locker room right now, so I’ve decided to speed up the “get to know each other” process by assigning some fun new nicknames.
Let’s get right to it, gang.
First Team All-Name
Ulysses S. Grant Dean
Darrion You, Me, and Dupree
Thomas Heiberger and Fries
Eugene Paris Hilton Jr.
Djidjou Bah Humbug
Ryan Johns Hopkins
Matthew Lion Traynor
Second Team All-Name
Johann Sebastian Cheeks
Cecil Cooper Catalano
Luke I’m Your Father Emmerich
Bryce North, South, East or West
Matt Forever Jung
Shamar Mordecai and Rigby
Abu Still The Sama, III
Third Team All-Name
Tyreese No Fearbry
Carson Jean Claude Van Dinter
Jackson McGohan Places
Emerson, Lake, Palmer and Mandell
Liam and Noel Danitz
Raphael Nowhere Near Dunn
Mason Strike a Posa
All-Name Honorable Mention
Deuce Davonte Adams
Eli Manning Adams
Cai Norman Bates
Truth and Justus Boone
Harrison Ford Bortolotti
Drew Insta Braam
Kash or Charge Brock
Blake Cherry Pie
Colin Chicago Cubberly
Nolan Winter Davenport
Carsen Daly Eloms
Eric Jamar Fletcher Jr.
Yahya Oh My Gaad
Colton Joseph, Mary, and Jesus
Austin Texas Kawecki
Zion Williamson Kearney
Mason Crosby Kelley
Gavin Rossdale Lahm
Mason Fast Lane
Peyton Manning Lange
Sam Early or Lateju
Jayden James Loftin
Will Ronald McDonald
Langdon Street Nordgaard
Logan Roy Powell
James Roe Your Boat
Taylor Swift Schaefer
King Arthur Scott, III
Jack Sieve, Sieve, Sievers
Cairo Egypt Skanes
Shawn Carter Smith
Hardy JJ Watts
Ben Franklin Wenzel
Quantavius Fatboy Wiggins
PJ Tucker Wilkins
Aaron Katarina Witt